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As a human, we possess many emotions. Anger is one of the most common emotions that humans have. It is healthy and normal but gets disastrous when flared up. When your anger is out of your control, it’s a  wake-up call for you. Chronic anger is a terrifying thing that can cause those around you to be fearful, and distant. Seeking therapy is essential, but there are some small effective life changes you can make to have anger management over yourself.

Ways to control your anger through anger management therapy

There are several effective ways available to control your anger. Among all, anger management therapy is the most effective and reliable solution. What makes anger so difficult to control is that it creeps up on a person. No one voluntarily signs up to be angry all their life! There is usually an underlying issue, concern, or mental health illness that the individual is unaware of. Anger outbursts effect the entire family, and they can cause the people around you to become fearful of their well being. Also, many anger fits occur during a blackout phase; the person who is having the fit may not be aware that they are out of control. These factors have broken up many homes, and seeking family counseling is a tool that has helped piece together families which are in need of a better support system. Listed below are some simple, free, and effective ways to control anger in the short term, as well as over time.

 1. Counting:

Believe it or not, but one of the easiest ways to control your anger is by counting.  If your anger is flaring up, it is suggested to start counting from 1-10. The time you spend in counting will give you some moments to cool down, as well as distract you from the present anger you feel. This tactic has worked over centuries and throughout different countries. Counting uses breathing and meditation, but you have to want to calm down. So, next time when your anger becomes out of controlstart counting.

2.  Breathe slowly:

Like counting, and many times in harmony with counting, breathing works to take your anger’s temperature down. When your anger is going out of your control, it is suggested to breathe slowly. By doing so, you will be able to calm down instantly and effectively. Slow breathing also helps you understand and think in a better way because it allows you to take into account the different perspectives of your surrounding, allowing you to see if your anger is out of place.

3. Regular exercise:

Doing exercise on a daily basis not just provides you a healthy body, but is an effective way to shape your mental health too. As far as the anger management therapy is concerned, exercising can actually take your anger away. In fact, you can add yoga, running, cycling, walking, meditation, and swimming in your routine to get rid of anger and irritation. When you exercise, endorphins working in your brain and nervous system help produce a better overall mood.

4.  Proper sleep:

We all have heard that 7-8 hours’ sleep is very important for a stress-free life. But do you know that a sound sleep of adequate hours is also helpful in controlling your anger? When you have a mental illness, it is important to keep a healthy routine; sleeping consistently works to regulate a person’s daily routine. If sleep is hard to come by, avoid alcohol and overly caffeinated drinks in order to avoid restlessness.  

5. Indulge yourself in creative work:

Give sufficient time to your hobbies. If painting, singing, dancing, or writing is your hobby or passion, then you can use your hobby as a strong tool against your anger. By indulging in such activities, you can divert your mind from the stressful things towards the happier ones. Creative outlets also work to express your feelings in ways that would have otherwise been difficult. For instance, being able to draw how you feel can help communicate it with your family, rather than bottling it up.

6. Discuss your feelings:

Sometimes anger is caused by hidden or unsaid feelings. If you are facing such situations, then it is suggested to sit with your friend or any close family member to discuss your feelings or problems with them. By doing this, you will get a completely different perspective on a particular situation.

 

Is your young child facing behavioral problems that seem beyond your control? If yes, then there are several reasons behind this problem. There is no right or wrong way to help a child, however, communication and parent and child interaction therapy (PCIT) is a useful tool to bring harmony to your relationship. While growing up, children must deal with the social pressures of learning to fit it, as well as general learning about the world. These can convert to burdens when the child’s parent is unable to explain larger issues to the child. Sometimes these become larger issues if the parent has a mental illness.

 In that case, you need to be very patient with your child. Times are changing, so are the relationships between family members. Today’s family is built on communication, respect, and emotional support rather than a hard fist. No form of physical control or punishment is ever the solution to helping children.

 Behavioral Problems

Behavioral problems can include anger, depression, loneliness, anxiety, and lower level of confidence. To learn to maintain these issues, you should contact the best therapists for complete family counseling.

Why you and your child needs parent child interaction therapy?

Below we have listed some of the common major issues that signify the need for parent child interaction therapy:

•    Temper tantrums

•    Fighting

•    Swearing

•    Arguing

•    Denial to obey all the rules

•    Low frustration inception

•    Low self-confidence

•    Blaming others for own mistakes

•    Lying and hiding things

If you find any of the above-listed changes in your child’s behavior, then you should immediately contact the professional parent child interaction therapist for the family counseling. Apart from these symptoms, there are many more behavioral issues which are less obvious that can lead your child’s future mental health being threatened. If you want to make your child’s life better, it is best to pay attention to his activities and take him to the therapist.

Benefits of parent child interaction therapy

If your young kid is experiencing any of the above-listed issues, then this parent child interaction therapy is the best way to improve his or her condition. Therapy will allow a family to overcome the issues they face early rather than late. It helps parents and children communicate is a safe zone where no one feels threatened or judged. Below are immediate benefits to interaction therapy.  

•    Better parent-child relationship:

One of the most amazing and the best things about this therapy is that you can actually improve your bonding with your child. Parents want to develop a special and a strong bonding with their child, but they don’t know the right ways. If you are also looking for such ways, then parent child interaction therapy is the easiest and most effective way.

•    It reduces child abuse:

Another major benefit associated with the parent child interaction therapy is that you can actually reduce the child abuse through it. When parents are angry and frustrated, they say many emotionally abusive and hurtful things to their child. Unfortunately,people don’t realize the things at the moment. To avoid such situations, you should take this therapy at least once. Through this therapy, you will be able to learn the things those are actually emotionally abusive to your child. By having the knowledge, you can prevent yourself from saying such hurtful things to your child.

Lastly, whenever you see some behavioral issues in your child, the reason might be your anger. Connect with an expert for family counseling to ensure a better life for you and for your child.

 

 

The teen years, (10-19) is the age when your child becomes moody, egocentric, rebellious and goes through a bunch of countless emotions. To support them, it is very important to stay patient with them all the time. It is very important to talk to your teenager, even if it seems like they don’t want to hear it. Try to spend some quality time with your child once they entered into the teen age. This phase of life is very critical. During this phase, your child faces many good and bad changes both physically and emotionally. It is very important to be with them and provide your support. Many teenagers fall prey to depression in this crucial phase of life. But, the good thing is that teenage therapy is there to help your kid. By your support and this therapy, your child can combat with depression.

Support your depressed teenager through teenage therapy

In this particular phase of their life, they become extremely unpredictable. Some become angry,while some get depressed easily. Believe it or not, but teenage therapy is a boon for suchteenagers. Take a look at the ways to support your depressed teenager:

1. Be supportive always:

The very first thing you need to do is be supportive. Try to strengthen your relationship with your teenager. Establish the better level of understanding with them. Sometimes your teenager may try to break your patience, but you should try to stay calm and relaxed. Because this behavior is caused due to the phase of life they are in. You need to understand their perspective and  provide your support to your teenager. When your teenager is depressed, your support is the only thing that can take him away from the darkness of depression. So, keep the level of your support up all the time and make them realize that you are always there for them.

2. Spread positive vibes:

When your teenager is going through the most difficult phase in their life, it is imperative to spread positive vibes all around. For this, you can take your teenager for a short trip, or an outing, or for a long drive, etc. It is best to maintain positive aura in your house too. You can cook their favorite food. Discuss things about their friends, favorite TV show, but not about their grades. Try to divert their mind from the daily stresses they face, rather adding to the pressure.. If you are willing to make your teenager happy, it is best to maintain a friendly atmosphere in the house so that they can freely discuss their problems with you.

3. Teenage therapy:

When you don’t find the right way to take out your teenager from depression, you can contact a professional and expert teenage therapist for help. The therapist will definitely suggest a better direction to head towards for solutions. If you want effective results, it is best to take your teenager to the reliable and the professional therapist only.


For the best results, incorporate your love and care with this therapy. Depression, anxiety, loneliness, anger, and stress are usual in this age, but they shouldn’t fill all a teenagers time.

Useful Tips to Find the Best Psychologist

 Whenever we want to make our body better, we are always anxious about finding productive ways to do it. Especially, when it comes to our physical appearance, which we are very conscious about. Be it a gym, or a salon, we have the details of what we want and how to get it on our phone. But, when you need help to improve your mental health, you feel blank. In that scenario, various questions start running in your head like ‘How would I find the best psychologist near me?’, ‘Where would I get their contact details from?’. Undoubtedly, it is not an easy goal to achieve. You need to research a lot for the best and the perfect psychologist. By doing some ground work and some homework, you can easily find the one that better understands your condition and requirements.

If you are willing to find the most trusted psychologist for yourself and the family counseling, then just keep the following points in your mind for the best and desired results.

1. No more yellow pages

 Well, many of us believe in the yellow pages listing. But it’s a big book and expensive. You’ll even need to know what you are looking for before you even search. So, even if there is a good psychologist listed, it will become hard to locate them without knowing their information. If you sign up for other locater services that promise results, you may just end up wasting money. High charges never ensure the best results. So, remove this thought from your mind and check for the best psychologist through other mediums.

2. Blogs are your best friend

 If you don’t want to waste your time, try reading a few blogs to discover what others in your situation have done. Many excellent researchers, doctors, and clients have provided their hard work on the internet so that you can get their benefits without all the pain. In fact, you can search for your problem, so that you can get the specialist for that issue. By doing this, you will be able to save your precious time and some bucks as well.  

3. Say hello to the internet

 If you are worrying and feeling a little hesitated to meet the psychologist face to face, you can connect with him/her by using the internet. Being online helps you connect to  psychologist and chat or discuss your problem with them at any hour or location. There are many well-known psychologists available in Los Angeles who provide online family counseling and other consultations as well. Having an online presence allows for doctors to help more people around the world. It also helps you discover your mental health issues without feeling fearful of judgment or pain.  

4. Ask for the referrals

If you are unable to find the right psychologist for your particular needs, then you can ask your family members, friends, colleagues, and neighbors for referrals. Ask them whether they have any suggestions or contact details of any psychologist. You can also take help from the social media platforms by asking your online friends about it. There are chances you may get the best psychologist through people who you would never have had the courage to ask. Keep in mind that there are many specialists for each issue concerning mental health; it is not a one size fits all department. A person should not feel marginalized because their specific concerns do not fit the norm, branching out will help you more than you know.

Discover the unspoken patterns of an abusive relationship

Domestic violence is a pattern of behavior used by one partner towards the other to maintain power and control. The abuser does so with multiple tools beyond physicalDomestic violence abuse to intimidate and bully their partner into staying with them, and needed them. Most of the time, these behaviors are normalized, and we do not notice their negative impact until it is too late. With proper therapy, patients can eventually learn to recognize the patterns of abuse, and dependence which create the cycle of abuse that they live in. After the social media campaign to bring bullying to a stop for young adults in schools, it became time to shed light on non-physical abuse.

Recent streams of articles, fictional stories, and videos on emotional abuse have realistically depicted the subtleties and manipulation of emotionally abusive relationships.

The quirks we fall in love with might end up also being the seeds to destroying our relationships with people. For example, your partners need to always be right in an argument or situation begins as a simple and sometimes cute characteristic. But after a while, this quirk can become a controlling device to make you feel dependent or wrong in every situation.

Buzzfeed’s video article,Emotional Abuse Can Be Hard To Recognize inspired Dr. Steve Stosny, a media consultant for relationships, to speak out. He explained, “The law of blame is that it goes to the closest person...You’ll eventually be the object of it”.
 
 

Often we cannot recognize when a person takes jokes, lying, or criticism too far. In a relationship, we even sometimes give a lot of slack to our partners, looking for reasons why their behavior is not abusive, but just normal. Finding excuses for the reasons a person treats you badly is a symptom of abuse. Below are some scenarios and characteristics of emotionally abusive relationships.

 

Discouragement

You may not agree with you partner on plans for the future, but you should respect one another. This simple rule of dating which often goes unsaid or ignored could save you from years of trauma. You and your partner should at least be happy and excited for new opportunities which may come along, not jealous and angry. By using patterns of verbal abuse, such as threatening, bullying, and constant criticism, your partner can discourage you and make you feel helpless.

Humiliation can also be used in public to make you feel inferior. When abuse goes unchecked, it becomes easy to forget that we deserve better. Discouragement goes even further by embedding itself into our subconscious. Signs of this type of abuse in a person will show as low self-esteem, being withdrawn, depressed, anxious, and overly apologetic.

But like many hard to spot things in the world, emotional abuse works in a cycle. And sometimes your relationship seems real, romantic, and even manageable. While other times, you lack control in your world.

 

Criticism

Your partner should usually be the one to recognize changes in your appearance or personality. If these changes are real, your partner should be the first one to admire them, and if they are negative, your partner can often recognize these patterns as harmful. However, when your partner is emotionally abusing you, they might be more invested in tearing you down rather than building you up.

Positivity helps individuals grow and become better people. It is also true that criticism and mistakes help a person learn, these should be constructive and not merely negative. For instance, there is a huge difference between the two quotes below.

  • “You filed these wrong, but the instructions might be confusing. Read them over once more, and try again, ask me if you have any questions”.
  • “You filed these wrong, I left instructions, you should have been able to do it correctly.”

They do not want you to feel good about your positive changes, and they might encourage you to do an 180-degree turn for the worst. Learning to recognize these patterns of criticism takes time and can be uncomfortable, especially in more long-term relationships.

 

Indifference

During times of hardship, we look towards our partners to be a shoulder to cry on. When we are in an abusive relationship, your partner would rather distance themselves from us, get angry about our emotional state, or completely ignoring it. They are likely to make themselves the center of your emotions, forcing you to give all your reserve energy to comfort them, even if you are the one in pain. This pattern of indifference is often the hardest to recognize because it does not have a spoken or take physical effect. Rather, it is the lack of response which the abuser uses to manipulate their partner.

As the cycle begins again, those who find themselves dating a person who is always indifferent will ignore the times of abuse because they will remember the good times. There will be moments where their partner seems to care or be concerned about their well-being. Do not confuse concern for distrust. An abuser can often wonder about your whereabout to discover who you are with. The potential for you to leave them set them on high alert. This manic behavior will present itself in the form of want and desire. The abuser will use manipulation and sweet talk to get you back into their good graces.

Indifference is harder to recognize as a form of emotional abuse. But if we change the word indifference, to neglect, it seems much more apparent. Being neglected of vitamins, sunlight, sleep, mobility or any other essentials has immediate side effects. Being neglected of emotional and mental support will also have adverse side effects. If you are unable to see your side effects, you will get tricked into thinking nothing is wrong. No black eyes or bruises to see. Bob Keeshan, a board member of the hold abuse committee, explains that “Words can be tremendously hurtful. The effects are long-term and devastating...turning their pain inward, resulting in such problems as alcohol abuse and even suicide attempts”.

 

Chaos

Having a rocky or bumpy relationship with a partner, family, and even coworkers is normal. No one is the same, and it’s healthy to have differences in opinions and beliefs. When you are in healthy relationships these moments of disagreement can work to get to know each other better. They work to create more stability in the future. However, if you are in an abusive relationship, these moments could turn worse, making mountains out of molehills. An emotionally abusive relationship survives off the patterns of turmoil it causes. How are we supposed to recognize the difference between concern and chaos? Is this person genuinely worried about my well being, or are they scared they are losing control? It could be possible that if the fight or argument begins to turn against one person, that this may be a sign of chaos.

For instance, your partner complains that you are always on your phone and that this annoys them. The arguments get a little out of hand, and your partner uses this to question you. They begin to wonder you have become, and if the phone is a sign that you are cheating on them. This is a jump to conclusions based solely on a heat of the moment; this is chaos. Here the argument might even be a tactic to make you feel worse as if you are to blame for all the hardships in the relationship. Over time, you’ll be seeking approval for every decision you make, and you will have lost all control in the relationship. In 2010 an ambitious new effort began in California to fund ten projects to teach young women and men about the behaviors of abuse in teen dating, and how to prevent them. The research surrounding the discussion was, due to lack of resources, younger adults had a higher risk of abuse. The program has generated a lot of active outreach as well as education on the subject, but many young men and women still don’t know what to expect when getting into a relationship, and can’t recognize emotional abuse.

 

Blame

During a healthy relationship, both partners can make mistakes; we are human after all. In an abusive relationship, there is always a victim and one to blame. Anything that goes wrong will be your fault, even if you did not directly do anything. Logic and reasoning will get you and your partner nowhere.

According to couples therapy counselor, Marni Feuerman, “psychological abuse occurs when a person in the relationship tries to control information available to someone else with intent to manipulate that person’s sense of reality.” By only getting know one perspective or small bits of information, the victim tends to feel out of place, insecure, and wrong in a lot of situations. This makes it easy for the abuser to remove ay blame from them.

This form of blame transcends any ordinary sense of guilt and makes situations feel a lot more threatening. Guilt becomes a physical side effect, and the victim will turn to unhealthy forms of relief, like drugs and alcohol, self-mutilation. In an abusive relationship, the abuser will manipulate the victim to feel this burden of guilt as though they are the ones who have ruined the relationship.

We may have heard some of these lines before, maybe uttered by our parents, our partners, even friends.

“It’s my fault, and I made him upset.”
“She only cheated because I wasn’t showing her enough love.”
“I should have loved him more.”
“We were really great until I went back to school.”
 

Blame has a way of sneaking around our subconscious. With time as a tool to blur our memory, we often romanticize our relationships, remembering only at the right times. However, and self-awareness makes it possible to recognize the abuse, no matter how light or verbal it was.

 

Vital Signs of Emotional Abuse

In cases where emotional abuse is less obvious, it’s hard to be self-aware of the quirks and characteristics of an abuser until it is too late. Often, the people we fall in love with are putting on their best performance, and we don’t see the actual scope of their abuse until years into a relationship. More often than not, emotional abuse goes undiscussed because we are not taught that small things such as lying can be considered abuse.

One article cannot tell you how to identify and get out of an abusive relationship. But, one article can go a long way to inform you and force you to recognize things about yourself and your partner which you want to ignore. How do you know you are in an abusive relationship, and how do you know you are the abuser? Any gender, race, or socioeconomic class can be both an abuser, and a victim There are no ways of generalizing this matter into original labels. However, educating people at a young age will help individuals recognize early on that a healthy relationship is built on respect and mutual happiness.

Below is a short list of signs that you are in an emotionally abusive relationship, but they are not to only signs.

Accusations and blame
Controlling all the finances
Degrading an individual based on their speech
Disrespecting an individual
Ignoring you and your requests
Ignoring a person's privacy
Intentional frightening and pranks
Lack of empathy or compassion
Lack of respect for you
Lying
Name calling
Socially isolating the individual from others
Threats of violence
Withdrawals of affection
Withholding relevant information
Withholding love or physical contact as a control method
 

If you or a loved one is showing signs of abuse, or you recognize these behaviors in your partner, please seek help. Often the abuser is also facing issues of their own and could use treatment as well.

 

Meditation for the Month